Techno Geek
by Archilochus
Summary: A little theory that I, and I imagine other people as well, have about our favorite feisty blonde.


Freddie looked over the room, smiling contentedly. It was his first time presiding over an AV club meeting. Normally this was a job reserved for the AV club president or the vice president, but since both could not attend today, the responsibility had fallen to him. Chances were that in a few years, he might become president of the AV club and be entrusted to do this on a weekly basis. Freddie inhaled deeply. He wanted to make a good impression.

"Okay, it looks like everyone is here, so let's get started. Shane, can you pass the sign-in sheet." Shane nodded, or at least the best that he could. Ever since the elevator incident, Shane had been plagued by a never-ending streak of bad luck, mostly of the physical sort. Less than a month after getting out of the hospital, he was walking down the parking lot and headed towards the school's main entrance when out of nowhere, one of the buses came screeching by and ran him over. The driver got splashed by hot coffee (sources implicated Gibby, although this remained unverified) and lost control of the vehicle. Presently, Shane was in a body cast and only able to move via motorized wheelchair.

"Sure thing Freddie," Shane said. Despite his less-than-stellar condition, Shane refused to shed his positive attitude, and insisted on doing as many things as he was currently able.

"Shane watch out, Jeremy left his TEXTBOOK ON THE FLOOR!" Too late. Before Shane could react, one of the wheels of his wheelchair's glanced the textbook, causing him to lose balance and topple over. On the ground, he groaned pathetically.

"Oh no!" exclaimed one of the members. Jeremy, also known as Germy, crouched down to face his fallen friend.

"Shane!" he called. "Speak to me!" He then sneezed.

"Guys help him up," Freddie said. Several members of the AV club went down to right Shane's wheelchair and place him back in his seat. One kid took the sign-in sheet and started passing it around. Shane winced briefly, and then smiled at his friends.

"Thanks guys. I don't know _what_ I'd do without you." Freddie smiled back at him.

"No problem Shane." Freddie returned his attention to the other club members. "Okay, so just a few things for our weekly meeting today. Before I start, is this anyone's first time attending an AV club meeting?" Freddie searched the crowd, and as he expected, no one raised their hand. He had only asked because Mark, the president, had advised him to.

"O-" Freddie stopped talking when he saw a somewhat reluctant arm slowly rise into the air. The arm belonged to a kid Freddie had never seen before, which was odd considering that he recognized just about everybody in his school. The kid wore thick-rimmed square glasses, blue jeans, a black Galaxy Wars t-shirt, a faded blue jean jacket, a ball cap that read "Nug-Nug" across the rim, and…a beard. Freddie frowned. He didn't know anyone at Ridgeway that wore a beard. Shaking his head, he tried his best to smile.

"Uh, hi. Welcome to the AV club, what's your name?" The kid stood up quickly and awkwardly.

"Uh, my name is uh…Charlie. Yes, my name is Charlie." Freddie started a bit at the voice. He couldn't place it, but something about Charlie's voice sounded familiar.

"Okay. Nice to meet you Charlie."

"Likewise Fredweird." Freddie's eyes lit up. Behind his glasses, Charlie's blue irises tripled in size.

"What did you call me?" Charlie nervously fiddled with his jacket.

"Uh nothing, I just called you uh, _Fredward!_ That's it, Fredward. Fredward Benson! 'Cause that's uh…you know, your name." The gears in Freddie's brain began turning. Even if he had misheard "Charlie," only a handful of people knew that his real name was Fredward. He had even made sure his name read "Freddie" in the yearbook, so no one could find out.

"You told us your name was Frederick!" cried Doug, a pimply-faced ninth grader. He shot an accusatory finger at Freddie. Freddie growled under his breath. He glared at Charlie.

"How did you know my name was Fredward?!" Charlie chuckled in a pitch slightly too high for an adolescent boy.

"Cause, everyone knows, ever since you…said it on iCarly."

_iCarly. _"I never said that on iCarly." Charlie began wildly gesturing with his arms.

"Oh well, guess I made a mistake." While flapping his arms around, Charlie accidentally knocked off his cap, revealing a mop of curly blond hair. Freddie's eyes bugged out. He couldn't believe it. Charlie revealed a big, toothy grin.

"Whaddya know, time for some pork loaf." Charlie swung his arms, ready to bolt, when he was halted by Freddie.

"Don't be in such a hurry Charlie," Freddie coaxed in an ultra-serious tone. Slowly, Freddie bent over and reached into his backpack, watching Charlie the whole time. He latched onto something unseen, and slowly brought it out of the backpack. "Why settle for pork loaf, when you can have_ HAM!" _Freddie whipped out a sandwich stacked with a double layer of thick-sliced ham. Charlie shrieked like a banshee and tackled Freddie.

"Give me that sandwich Benson!" Charlie wrestled Freddie to the ground, the latter struggling to retain his sandwich but failing.

"I knew it was you Sam. That was the worst disguise ever!"

_"Gimme that sandwich!"_

"OW! Okay, okay!" Sam ripped the sandwich from Freddie's grasp, sat on the floor and began ferociously devouring it.

"Ahahahahaha!" came her maniacal cackle (which was somewhat muffled due to her full mouth). She stuffed the last of the sandwich down her throat. Unbeknownst to Sam, during the struggle with Freddie, her glasses fell off and her long blonde hair came undone, leaving it obvious to the rest of the AV members who "Charlie" really was. Sam was in the middle of licking her fingers when she realized this. She froze. Slowly, she turned her neck around and looked at them. She was met by several blank faces.

"Hey, that's Sam," Jeremy said, sneezing a few seconds later. The air was then ripped by a hellish shriek.

Shane's eyes locked with Sam's. His entire body cast rattled with fear. With a maximum effort, he jammed the 'speed' setting on his wheelchair to 'turbo.' Still shrieking, he whirled around and zoomed for the door…until he crashed into the wall by accident and smashed his wheelchair into a million pieces. Sam just sat quietly on the floor, stone-faced.

Freddie shot his gaze back at Sam. It didn't make sense. Why would Sam dress up as a nerd so that she could attend AV club? It couldn't have been about the ham sandwich; there's no way she could have known he had one. Suddenly, realization struck. _MPEG, hacking into my blog, figuring out how to record my first date with Valerie…_

Sam was thinking the same thought. Without warning, she sprung to her feet and dashed out the door. Jarred from his epiphany, Freddie loped after her, grinning insanely.

"I KNEW IT! YOU'RE A TECHNO-GEEK PUCKETT! A TECHNOOOO-GEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

**Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.**

**AN: Being the tech whiz that he is, I imagined that Freddie eventually figured out that Sam used his equipment to record his date. I guess that's my excuse for how Freddie knew about it.**


End file.
